Voice-Acting Script

Temporary pause on your regularly scheduled programming. Instead, here’s a script I wrote for my friend for them to use in a voice-acting audition. They created the characters and their basic personalities, and I came up with the scenario. Citizen Kane it ain’t, but it’s meant to showcase my buddy’s various character voices rather than my writing. Maybe if the audition goes well or they ever record the reading, I’ll post a link to it. In the meantime, enjoy!

EXT. “NOT NEW YORK” CITY
MELVIN, S.O.N.N.Y., and DOCTOR GESUNDHEIT stand on a street
corner.

ANNOUNCER
The setting – a bustling American
city. The time – modern day. The
people – one well-meaning but
insane scientist, his robotic
sidekick, and his young lab
assistant. The situation – well,
you’ll find out.

MELVIN
Gee, Doc, what are we doing out
here? I thought you said we were
doing important lab work today.

DOCTOR GESUNDHEIT
Ve vere! But zen I thought to
myself, “It is such a nice day, vhy
don’t ve do some field vork
instead?” So, ve are going to test
my superhero serum!

MELVIN
Oh, okay. Wait a minute, what?!

S.O.N.N.Y.
The doctor has prepared a serum to
turn ordinary individuals into
superpowered specimens of human
perfection.

MELVIN
Gee, Doc. That sounds… uh,
interesting… but why?

DOCTOR GESUNDHEIT
Because ze evil Lord Drax has sworn
zat he ist going to come to zis
spot und kill us all!

MELVIN
What?! Oh, my God! Why?

S.O.N.N.Y.
Because the doctor got drunk one
night a week ago and used the
transdimensional communicator to
insult Lord Drax’s broodmother.

MELVIN
Doc!

DOCTOR GESUNDHEIT
Ach, stupid robot! Look, it doesn’t
matter who insulted who’s
broodmother or who made disparaging
remarks about who’s carapace. Ze
important thing is zat ve stop ze
alien menace.

MELVIN
How are we going to do that?

DOCTOR GESUNDHEIT
Simple! Ze superhero serum vill
give you incredible powers and you
will use zem to crush ze alien and
see him driven before you!

MELVIN
Me? Well, I guess that’s cool, but
I don’t know that I’m the best
person for the job.

DOCTOR GESUNDHEIT
Nonsense, my boy! You’ll do
vunderfully! And besides, I already
put ze serum in your cereal zis
morning. It should be kicking in
any second now.

Melvin falls to the ground and starts making noises as if
he’s alternately in immense pain and pleasure. The sound of
a rift opening in space-time can be heard growing steadily
louder.

OL’ MAN JENKINS
Doo doo, just going for a walk.
Lovely day for a walk. Lovely day
for an ominous portal in the sky
like a bleeding wound in the very
fabric of reality. Lovely — OH, MY
HIP!

LORD DRAX
TREMBLE, PUNY HUMANS! YOUR
DESTRUCTION IS AT HAND!

OL’ MAN JENKINS
Oh, God, you’re standing on my
chest!

LORD DRAX
BRING ME YOUR WORLD LEADERS! BRING
ME YOUR WEALTHY AND YOUR POWERFUL!
BRING ME THE ONE WHO SAID MY DEAR
SWEET BROODMOTHER WAS AS FAT AS A
GAMORREAN LARD EEL!

OL’ MAN JENKINS
Why won’t you get off my chest?!

DOCTOR GESUNDHEIT
Ah, right on schedule! Alright,
boy! Get him!

Melvin continues making odd, unpleasant noises.

DOCTOR GESUNDHEIT
Hm. I may have made a
miscalculation.

S.O.N.N.Y.
Doctor, I tried to tell you this
plan had less than a 10% chance of
success.

DOCTOR GESUNDHEIT
Vell, vhy didn’t you try harder!

S.O.N.N.Y.
You threatened to erase my memory
and use my motherboard as a
coaster.

DOCTOR GESUNDHEIT
Ah. I see. Vell, only vun zing to
do. RUN AVAY!

The sound of Doctor Gesundheit’s shoes slapping against the
pavement can be heard, followed by a mechanical sigh and the
sound of S.O.N.N.Y. clanking as he follows.

LORD DRAX
YES, RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN! IT
WILL NOT SAVE YOU! I SHALL LEAD MY
ARMY FROM THIS VERY SPOT, ATOP YOUR
MOST BELOVED SENIOR CITIZEN!

OL’ MAN JENKINS
Oh, my lumbago!

END

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: