No updates this week. I’m busy prepping for NaNoWriMo. Expect something a lot less feelings-y and much more pulpy. Also, shorter.
Much, much shorter.
Ancient god staring blankly from the sea
Thinking nothing and dreaming of dead things
Body black with the soot that pours from
Chimneys, gears grinding away as the
Great beast rakes the ground with claws, dragging
It’s body towards Bethlehem
But does it have to be this way?
Must a beast slouch? Must a body crawl?
Couldn’t it be made to walk, to run?
Why is it dead things that fuel it?
Imagine this great engine better
A colossus crossing new lands
Not because they said it couldn’t be done
But because standing tall is worthy in itself
If it even happens, we’ll sit in silence, my tongue numb in my mouth, and yours locked away in the same place you keep your heart secret and safe, and in the end we’ll just get up and leave.
Or maybe we’ll confess our sins, and there will be tears but we’ll feel better about things. Everything will be different, nothing will be the same, but at least we’ll feel better.
Or unlikeliest of all, we’ll talk and see eye-to-eye, and we’ll smile and laugh, and our hands will touch, and in time so will our lips.
But I doubt it.
I’ve spent my life torturing myself with imagined words. Why stop now?
In the bathroom, staring at the mirror, sick again.
I was a triple letter. All-state. Graduated and joined the Army. I had so much promise once, and now I got nothing. Just nightmares, bad memories, dead friends. Too broken to work, to live.
But by God, I’ll show you I can still swing a bat.
I am no cat to be bribed with cream,
No dog whining and begging for treats
I am cold-blooded, solitary
Look at my scales, my spines. Don’t you see?
I am a creature of meaner eyes,
Born with sharper teeth and darker needs
In the beginning, we knew each other whole.
That intimacy was the most natural state
Of being, but a flaw in the fabric of
Things pulled us apart, created that
First break, set us in motion.
But we are born to fight entropy. We are
Heavenly bodies finding each other in
The dark, acting on each other in
Ways we’ll never understand.
We can fix this. We can laugh in the
Face of decay. A strong force
Attracts us. Gravity will
Pull us back together.
You will see, I promise you. You
Will see that the very act of
Living is to be mending,
That it is in the nature of
Our bodies to come
What has been broken will
Be made whole, and that
My universe will never be empty so long as you are in it.